Sunday, October 24, 2004

Unintended Consequences

So as I mentioned before, my pdoc started me on provigil, which some have called the new panacea handed out like speed to depressed people. Personally, I'm getting to the point where I don't give a crap about what these meds claim that they do because inevitably, they have some horrific consequence like the development of a flesh eating rash or the repeated development of an open sore on the tip of your nose.

I'm convinced that instead of making me more alert, it has merely heightened the urgency I feel about needing to sleep. Moreover, I have a horrible headache, I feel like I want to beat the crap out of everyone, and I feel lethargic. Sad. My memory has faded like an unspectacular sunset and thinking of the most basic words and ideas is torturous. Writing papers has been brutal, an exercise in self-control I don't have. My computer is lucky to be in one piece and I periodically email my papers and notes to Brendan so that if I lose it and destroy this hunk of junk, I'll still have the most essential data.

I don't know why I feel so sad. Maybe I'm resigning to this incessant and irritating frustration. ugh!

I'm going to stop taking the provigil. I've never responded so poorly to a medication before. I mean, I've had medications that clearly don't do anything for me, but I haven't had one push me so hard toward instability. I feel like I was walking on a precarious mountainside path before, but taking provigil has made me blind as a newborn kitten and massively more likely to stumble.


At any rate, there are interesting posts in the bipolar blogosphere.

Michele has some thoughts on changing meds and manic insomnia.

Nick has a counterpoint for those who insist that drug costs in the US are rising. DB has more.

GrossAnatomy has some information on why we fart and a decent round-up of the supposed health care workers' draft.

James Baker questions why psychiatrists are expected to restrain mentally ill people if they are a danger to themselves or others, but other physicians feel that a quaratine is unethical.

Shazam! has returned from her trip to Honduras, so hopefully she'll be posting more often!

In a tiny study at Johns Hopkins, researchers found that certain anti-psychotics can raise a child's risk of developing diabetes.

Pediatricians feel unprepared to treat mental illness in children. Maybe that's because these kids should be seeing a specialist.


Okay, that's enough excitement for y'all.

Keep breathing. We'll all make it.