Tuesday, October 05, 2004

If I won the lottery

Have you ever played the "if I won the lottery..." game? The AZ lottery has chugged up above $100 million. Given, you win that kind of money and you barely keep any of it because of taxes and what not. But could you imagine it? Winning, let's say, $30 million after taxes? Wow. How fantastic would that be?

Some people dream about cars and houses when they think about winning the lottery. I think about health care. I sit around and think about how with that kind of cash, I could see any doctor anywhere in the US. I could take any medication I wanted for however long I needed to. I could see a therapist...everyday if I wanted to and uh, they had the time. I could get my blood tested everyday, take all sorts of body and brain scans. I could get a daily massage. Oh! And I could hire a delicious personal trainer to motivate me to get to the gym. I could order food from one of those healthy delivery places that costs a fortune, but gives you a balanced diet anyway.

Even better, I could get into an intensive outpatient program when I feel really messed up instead of waiting for the feeling to pass. I could build some sort of mental health Mecca for people like me so we could have a place to meet and support each other and develop peer-to-peer groups and such. It could have a big ass fish tank, cuz fish are supposed to be soothing.

random aside

When I was researching a paper about gender identity disorder and Robert Stoller once upon a time, I spent way too much time in the archives of UCLA paging through Stoller's old notes. He's a cool guy. If I ever find my ambition again, I'd love to write a biography while Richard Greene is still with us (or the Brits anyway). So yeah, Stoller. Somewhere in his writing he mentions explaining gender identity to a young boy using guppies.

That was one of the more disturbing papers I wrote. At one point, the gender identity disorders clinic advised parents to hit their kids whenever the youngins performed some gender deviant behavior. I had this horrible vision of some 6 year old boy wearing a towel like a dress giving a concert for his stuffed animals when his Dad catches him and whips his belt off and wails on the kid.

random aside over

Where was I? Oh yeah, the lottery. I guess there's a reason that I'll never win the lottery. I mean, it would kick ass, but Lord knows that with all the money in the world, I'd still get depressed about something stupid.

At least I'm not alone.