Sunday, December 12, 2004

A New Obsession

I've always had this uncanny ability to focus on a task at hand. Even when I was a child, my mom tells me that I could sit and play the same game for hours on end. That's a skill I've never lost.

I think our gifts can also be our weaknesses. The same focus that allowed me to complete my thesis in a month is currently holding me hostage to a new obsession—CSI. As a gift for myself for successfully defending and jumping through all the hoops necessary to graduate, I bought myself the first four seasons of CSI on DVD. I got them on Thursday. Today is Sunday. I started at the beginning, and I'm halfway through season three. That's 61 episodes in two and a half days. Do normal people do that?

My bipolar disorder is as well contained as it's ever been. I don't get those hideous, life-dampening lows—or at least, I haven't for a few weeks. Of course, I've also had my obsessions to keep my mind occupied.

The weird facet of my obsession du jour is that I know I won't be satisfied until I'm finished with the episodes I have in my posession. I NEED to watch them. It's like that's the only thing that really matters to me right now. I mean, I still take my dog to the park and pet my kittens. But I've stopped taking phone calls unless they by chance fall into a break between episodes. I'll be able to call people and talk endlessly, when I'm done. But now, if I talk to people, it's just going to be an exercise lackluster, non-focused communication.

Of course, when I finish with my current CSI binge, I have no idea how I'll keep myself occupied. I suppose Christmas shopping is next on my list, but to be honest, I'm a bit insecure about shopping by myself because I feel like I'm in one of those moods when my finances are theoretically unlimited and realistically paltry.

We all have our quirks.